Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the moments that have shaped my life, about the process of grieving and the unconditional love you feel at hardship from friends that become family. I have to say, I have never felt so much heartache and confusion in my life. Its like you are running through a very dark tunnel and even though its dark, you feel so much light, so much hope, so much love, so much humbleness that helps you to keep pushing through the pain.
This past year, was an incredible year full of shaping experiences. Every single emotion I felt was so unpredictable, the whole process of grieving it's so unpredictable and so human, I guess. It feels okay to shed tears, a lot of them, drop by drop. It feels okay to take the long way and a long time to go through it, step by step, little by little to find that peaceful mind and heart again, hopefully. I have read a couple books to understand, to digest and to feel serenity and I think after all these months all I can say is, there is something incredibly beautiful and incredibly sweet in darkness.
There is something so magical about creating when your heart is grieving, it's so releasing, so pure, and so healing. I am eternally thankful for being able to express everything that my mind thinks through my work and even more thankful to have people who push me and support me to keep doing what I love.
Every single day I think about her, every single day, but I know her love and my love for her makes the darkness cozy, comforting, a positive and life changing stage of my life where I embrace this incredible experience of life. I embrace my amazing friends and family and keep trying to nurture my relationships with them and always make my best to make them feel love, infinite and pure love.
Many places I have been
Many sorrows I have seen
But I don't regret
Nor will I forget
All who took the road with me
Please, be forever near me, always and forever...
I miss you Shei, I will miss you forever.
Meet the beautiful Carli Jacobs.